"I was reading the paper the other day because my neighbor got up late."
Or how about this gem:
"A friend of mine went fishing and caught a rainbow trout, but he threw it back 'cause he said he didn't want a gay fish."
Zing! How about one more?
"I dated this retarded woman once but we broke up, we couldn't agree on anything. I'd say 'tomato', she'd say 'bowling shoes'!"
He's like the Andrew Dice Clay of the redneck set. Both are incredibly successful comedians who rarely come up with good material, and have acts based around over-the-top characters. Not that I have a problem with character comedians. There are countless comedians who are/were successful with acts based on delivering a character. Bobcat Goldthrait and Gilbert Gottfried come to mind. As a character comedian, "Larry" isn't that bad. He is even dedicated enough to the character to rock a farmer's tan and keep up his fighting (over)weight.
The real reason I find Larry The Cable Guy hilarious though, is that he's a college educated guy who's act is to be a marginally-educated redneck stereotype, who appeals largely to people who fit the marginally-educated redneck stereotype. All you need to do is bring up his videos on youtube and check out the highest-rated comments. 4 out of 5 times, the most "thumbed up" comments are the ignorant, grammatically incompetent abortions left by individuals who aren't in on "the joke". Comments like: "I hate political correctness because it makes me a racist for telling the truth". Or... you being a racist makes you a racist, maybe?
I'm sure Dan Whitney, who plays Larry, is actually an intelligent, open-minded guy. At very least, he's a great business man. The problem is, a great deal of his fans aren't aware of this and use his popularity to justify bigotry. They don't realize that they are championing someone who is striking it rich by performing a blatant caracature of they themselves, and I find that endlessly entertaining. This would kind of be like me getting into blackface and telling watermelon jokes to a predominantly black crowd and having them laud me for it instead of being offended and booing me off the stage. Except in Dan's case he is of the same race as the crowd, only in a different social class. So maybe the blackface isn't really a valid example. You get the point though. The point is: he is terrible, but got rich off of being terrible, and that is America.
GIT-R-DERRRRR!
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